Poison Ivy Sucks and then Some

I want to apologize because I haven't written in a couple of days. I have had a little situation

going on. 

I have poison ivy...

....ON MY FACE!!!

I have poison ivy blisters as well. Although thankfully not on my face. I have never....NEVER I SAY... been so miserable in my entire life!!! Not when I fell down on the side of the road, (walking for exercise of course) cutting a deep gash in my knee, and rolling into a Louisiana ditch. Not even when I did a split in a bucket of cherry pie filling in white (work pants) in the middle of a very busy store. SERIOUSLY....NEVER! I told my sister that I thought I should write a blog about this experience, and she said "but, what will you write. Pretty much all you can say is POISON IVY SUCKS!!! At the time of our conversation I agreed and put the idea aside, but I have come up with a few more things to say since then.

For starters...

I have (very quickly) sketched this little illustration to express a little theory I have developed through out this experience. I have come to believe that poison ivy is SATAN'S FAVORITE leaf to be fanned with by his minions, and that on excruciatingly blistery summer days he likes to curl up and sun with a good book on the leaves of it's hateful foliage. I have no hard scientific evidence of this, but I feel pretty confident about it.

Now for some things I have learned about poison ivy. 

1) Apparently, it can be worse in the winter because you have opportunity to have more contact with the actual vines and roots of the plant (which I understand are more potent) due to the fact that their are no tell tale leaves to alert you to it's presence. This is obviously what happened to me, and I can vouch for the severity aspect of this info. I for one will be staying away from all vine like plants in my yard during the winter from now on. Lesson learned.

2) Don't ever burn anything that you even think may be it, because the bad stuff can be inhaled and cause irritation in your lungs, and a lovely full body rash effect.

3) If you develop blisters, listen to your backpacker friends and go to the doctor. Take the steroids, the shot, and whatever creams they can give you and be thankful for doctors, itch relieving creams and backpacker friends.

Yesterday, after having concentrated really hard all day on getting stuff done at work and not pulling  my hair out while running screaming from the building, I went to Walmart to pick up my poison ivy meds. By this point I was really loosing a part of myself. It was raining. I was cold in the light sweater I had draped over my shoulders, because I didn't want to contaminate my good winter coat, and I found myself heading for the door of Walmart staring strangely at the end of my extended arm which was pointed at oncoming traffic and clearly had taken on a mind of it's own. I recieved a lovely go to hell look for the actions of my arm. Thanks arm! I entered Walmart and went straight to the men's room, and then to the lady's room directly after. When I had finished my business in the restroom, I removed my outer sweater in an attempt to disguise myself from any irritated traffic which my rogue arm had stopped outside. I headed to the pharmacy and grocery section, ducking and hoping the entire time. I made it through the rest of the Walmart experience unscathed, and then headed home. My lovely husband cooked a dinner of vegetarian chili. He is really wonderful sometimes, but I won't go further, as he doesn't care for gushing. I had dinner and a bath in which I attempted to wash my hair with conditioner and condition my hair with shampoo. In the end I just mixed them both in my hair at the same time and hoped for the best. My bed received me well and I slept the whole night through for the first time in days. Thank you doctor, itch stopping cream, and backpacker friends :) I feel MUCH more grounded today after a good nights rest, and I am on the mend now. Still, I did want to warn you all about the winter poison ivy thing, and share my theory about the poison ivy/Satan connection. Seriously, stay away from poison ivy (I hear poison oak, and poison sumac are equally evil). It is really bad stuff. Finally, I leave you with this- never, NEVER trust a vine

in winter!!!

Sincerely Itchy,

Stephanie H.